Uncyclopedia!

While searching for my classmate's Eragon review, I came across this site which is the opposite of Wikipedia. It's humorous actually and everything goes out of place and just makes you laugh. Imagine seeing Barney the Dinosaur as Saphiro the Dragon in Eragon.


A Fan Made Poster of Eragon as seen on Uncyclopedia

And a Plot like this.. Man this is crazy!

When Eragon finds a giant blue egg in the forest (the Easter Bunny lost it, see), he immediately tries to destroy it with small incendiary devices placed cleverly around the stone in the shape of a smiley face. Upon their failure to explode, he decides to try and make an omelet. Instead of a delicious ham-and-cheese treat, the stone brings forth a blue eyes white dragon hatchling and a deck of cards to battle the Darkness, which Eragon promptly attempts to eat.

Eragon realizes he has stumbled upon another bad plot line; his simple "poor farmer" lifestyle of good old-fashioned hard work and chicken for breakfast is shattered. With only a sword so ancient it's completely rusted over, Eragon sets off on a pilgrimage to avoid his taxes--mainly, to find that secret spot he found in the forest so he can wait there and cry until Galbatorix dies. Accompanying him is the stalker, Brom, an old man with an unnatural fetish for dragons (though he swears that it isn't true and they can't prove anything). He becomes Eragon's teacher in many schoolings, including: lifting pebbles with his head, pinata thrashing, kung fu, metaphysics, quantum physics, theoretical mathematics, and pornography.

Along with Brom's never-questioned guidance, Eragon and the fledgling dragon must navigate the dangerous Kessel Run and avoid the dark servants of the Empire ruled by the Lord of the Pit, Galbatorix (brother to Alphathorax), whose evil is so immense that he knows a revolver has five rounds and his first words as a baby were the world-destroying Black Speech spell "fo' shizzle ma nizzle". Can Eragon take on the evilly evil, super-evil overlord who is evil incarnate? In a fantastic and unforeseen twist of events (see quotes), it turns out he can, but then the entire book is revealed to be nothing but Panino's dream. However, Paolini is only dreaming it is his dream, and Eragon turns out to be dreaming that Christopher Paolini is dreaming it's his dream that's actually Eragon's dream. Then George Lucas realizes that he's dreaming about Eragon, not Star Wars. Pretty soon, a car hits Eragon, and there is much rejoicing. - Source

So much for the movie Eragon.. Har har

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